“You can denounce mother culture in anger, place a mark on your forehead – like Cain – and wander the earth defining yourself by what you are not. You can tell the stories of how mother culture let you down and abused you. But the happiness you gain from each telling will lessen until your stories bring you only unhappiness. But still you will tell the stories, because somewhere along the way your pain has become your identity.” (>>)

“We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life — daily and hourly. Our answer must exist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answers to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets before each individual.” (>>)

“I still feel… but I keep…

“I’m in transition. I have been for nearly five years now. And I’m almost ready to accept this period of suspension as a part of who I am.” (>>)

“It’s about a kid who learns to not be ashamed of whom he is. In the beginning, he is ashamed of his faith. He feels that faith is socially and intellectually inferior so he wrestles with loving his community while still not wanting to be a part. When he goes off to Reed, he finds escape from that, but through a relationship with Penny, has to confront the reality that faith is larger and more encompassing than he had judged. And he has to face the fact that he is a poser and is as judgmental as those he would consider to be his enemies.” (>>)

“I don’t really believe but I sense something important is going on.” (>>)

“In the early and mid-’90s, I starting doubting the systematic theologies I’d inherited. I didn’t know you were allowed to believe in God outside of a prescribed systematic theology. So, I had to go through kind of a deconstruction and reconstruction. The process was really scary, because I had no guarantees. I remember reaching a very low point and thinking, ‘I’m either going to have to be dishonest and pretend that I still believe in a theological system that doesn’t work for me anymore or I’m going to be honest about my doubts and questions.’ I kept thinking, ‘I might lose my whole faith,’ but I couldn’t squelch the honest questions that kept arising. I think this is one of the agonies of these things, you don’t know how they’re going to turn out. It’s a very high-risk thing but you don’t have any choice if you’re trying to be honest. I think you have to do it—doubting and questioning as an act of faith, as strange as that may seem.” (>>)

“I’m not spiritual.” (>>)

“But whether you use conservative or liberal theological language, the central issue of our faith – as I see it – is finding a passion for the life and teachings of Christ and giving yourself to Him. Becoming a disciple, as we say, and by that I mean trying to live a Christ-like life. The details of your theology are far less important than that commitment.” (>>)

“Stay away, Jesus, or I’ll kick you.” (>>)

“…that is what I want.” (>>)

“i’d rather live in the tension than have false comfort…” (>>)

“At bottom, I am skeptic and a cynic trying to believe. All three of those parts are important. I don’t deny that I am naturally skeptical, and that my skepticism makes itself known in occasionally biting cynicism. But I do want to believe. I am trying to believe. I’m not over here all la-di-da thinking that nothing matters. I desperately want it all to be true. And I even more desperately want it all to make some sort of difference.” (>>)

“this whole Jesus thing, i’m finding, is kind of hard to figure out.” (>>)

“I’m still unclear as to what I’m supposed to be doing in order to be a better disciple of Christ. I know that I’m supposed to obey the direct teachings of Christ; that I’m supposed to take care of the marginalized and the poor… But I don’t know what to do with the Bible. I don’t know how to apply scripture to my life; I don’t know how to become more a person of prayer; I don’t know how to engage myself in the ancient spiritual disciplines that have that have nourished people for hundreds and even thousands of years. I don’t know how to do that, it hasn’t been translated yet.” (>>) [MP3]

“I have not grown personally in terms of faith with the kind of consumer-oriented Christianity that is prevalent in America. That has never helped me; it’s only stunted my growth. What I mean by that is the self-help, formulaic kind of stuff; the moralist/political angles on our faith tradition. None of that helped me. I didn’t grow. And really what happened was there was a switch that turned where I got interested in the more relational dynamic of faith, the whole notion of God fathering us rather than focusing on the rules or whatever.” (>>)

“All the great characters in stories are the ones who give their lives to something bigger than themselves. And in all of the stories I don’t find anyone more noble than Jesus. […] I think the difference in my life came when I realized, after reading [the] Gospels, that Jesus didn’t just love me out of principle; He didn’t just love me because it was the right thing to do. Rather, there was something inside me that caused Him to love me. I think I realized that if I walked up to His campfire, He would ask me to sit down, and He would ask me my story. He would take the time to listen to my ramblings or my anger until I could calm down, and then He would look me directly in the eye, and He would speak to me; He would tell me the truth, and I would sense in his voice and in the lines on His face that he liked me. He would rebuke me, too, and he would tell me that I have prejudices against very religious people and that I need to deal with that; He would tell me that there are poor people in the world and I need to feed them and that somehow this will make me more happy. I think He would tell me what my gifts are and how to use them. I think He would explain to me why my father left, and He would point out very clearly all the ways God has taken care of me through the years, all the stuff God protected me from.” (>>)