“Sometimes, my boyfriend’s feet smell. Sometimes, he forgets to brush his teeth before he goes to bed. I never get flowers as often as I feel I so brattily deserve. He doesn’t understand why dishes have to be done every single friggin’ night. I think he watches too much television. I wish he hated lap dances as much as I do. Have I settled? Have I compromised my values? Is it time for me to get my profile back up on pickmeplease.com?” (>>)