Sometimes truth is more disgusting than fiction

Please forgive me for the crude nature of the following post. But, I feel it is my duty to bring this issue into the cultural dialogue, as it is, in my eyes, one of the most reprehensible habits known to man. Parents, I strongly urge the use of caution in discerning whether or not to let children under the age of 7 read this post.

Ok, so, I’m at work and nature calls. So, I walk across the hall to the men’s bathroom. There’s a man from one of the other companies in the building in the other stall, and, forgive me for being vulgar, but from the sound of things whatever he ate for lunch wasn’t exactly agreeing with him. (Stick with me here, there’s a point to all of this.) Well, this man, we’ll call him Bill, finishes his business, and leaves. What’s wrong with this picture? Why am I not excited that Bill, and the remnants of his lunch, are no longer waging war against my nostrils? THE SICK JERK NEVER WASHED HIS HANDS! Can you believe that? The only thing between Bill’s hand and some incredibly disgusting stuff was a thin sheet of paper…and he doesn’t take 15 seconds to wash his freaking hands? Do you know how many things he’ll touch that other people will have to touch? What if he shakes somebody’s hand? I had to touch the same door handle that he touched! What’s wrong with this guy?

I swear, people should be shot for this sort of thing.