Dear Property Management Firm,

A suggestion: Instead of spending $6.99 on that tacky, holiday-neutral faux-plant you left in my office in a cynically pretentious, uninvited and insincere attempt to make me think well of you, perhaps you could instead direct those funds towards turning the heat up past the constant 65 degrees that you no doubt believe constitutes ‘properly sufficient and legal working conditions.’ As the self-congratulatory pre-printed sticker you left on the notecard attached to the plant in place of a hand-written message states, you have 45 years of making ‘great places,’ so I am confident that by now you have acquired the necessary skills to perform such a task.

Sincerely,
the grumpy old man in #1425